Good

(originally posted on my personal blog, November 6th, 2007…one week after my mom passed away)

“For the Lord is good and his love endures forever.”

You can never really understand strength until you lay weak beneath a barbell stacked with weights that you had to have pulled off your chest because you were unable to lift it.

You can never really understand heat until you have laid freezing cold in a tent in the middle of winter will less than adequate clothing and blankets.

You can never really understand the satisfaction of food until you have gone hungry for days letting nothing touch your mouth but a water bottle.

And you can never really understand the goodness of the Lord until you have experienced the depths of the fallen nature of humanity.

This past week has been surreal. I held the hand of the woman who held mine though life’s tough times while it was cold and lifeless. I carried the casket of the woman who carried me for 9 months. I came to a point where I no longer need to offer a prayer for a sick and dying mother.

For the past 15 years my mom battled for life as her body rebelled against it. You see, since the fall of man, so many years ago in Eden, all of creation has been set against the will and purpose of God. The depravity of man is so deep that even the basic units of life that we call cells rebel against God’s purpose. 15 years ago, her kidney’s refused to be kidneys. Five years ago bone marrow refused to be bone marrow. And last Sunday night as she breathed her last breath, it looked as if fallen, sin-sick humanity had finally taken its course.

As I have looked at and pondered this condition we call life, I think of the wretchedness, the horror of humanity. I came into work this morning for the first time in over a week. Still dealing with the grief of a dead mother, I was already at the point of tears. As I sat in a pastoral staff meeting I heard of a possible miscarriage of a close friend. I sat across from a man who spoke of the declining health of both his parents. And then another mentions the fact that hospice has come in to take care of his father. For about 10 minutes that room was the most depressing place on earth.

Death is never easy. Sickness is never easy. When most people are faced with a situation like my mom lived in for a decade and a half, they question the goodness of God. I questioned the goodness of God. But as I looked at the lifeless image of my mother lying in that casket this week, I couldn’t question anymore. I knew in that moment that God was good, is good and will always be good.

The disease of sin came into the world through the conscious decision of one man to rebel against God’s plan. From Adam we have all come and with us came sin. Because of that choice of rebellion, a disease…a sickness of sin that is inevitable became our lot. Each one of us has chosen to defy our creator and choose our own will over God’s. Jesus is God’s goodness. Redemption is God’s goodness. The Gospel is God’s goodness.

None of us know what it looks like or feels like, but when my mom closed her eyes on this side of eternity, she opened them before the Lord. She is seeing things and experiencing things that we sing songs about. She is living forever, never to experience the curse again. Every cell is lined up with the will of God. The pain is gone. The tears have ceased. At least for her.

For now we sit here on earth, filled with sorrow and grief for the loss of a mother, a wife, a friend, a grammy, a co-worker, a daughter, an aunt, and a neighbor. But even in this grief I have seen the goodness of God. Every tear is cried in hope. Every memory a arrow pointing towards the mystery of eternity. Each day a day closer to the end game.

Though much of this is incoherent ramblings…what I mean to say is this. God is good. Amen

In Your Anger

I was chatting with a friend on facebook the other day.  His status was something to the effect of “needs help loving his brothers and sisters in Christ.”  I asked him what was up and he said that he wished it wasn’t a sin to punch someone in the face, because he really wanted to.  We jousted back and forth with comments of hilarity and said our goodbyes.  Oh, the conversation of angry Christians…they can be quite hysterical.  We have many of the effects of the fall still gripping us by our sin nature and we want to act on them but a deeper love for Christ and that relationship restrains us from getting to fisticuffs, pile-driving a dude, or keying someone’s car.

But still like to talk about it…

I’m in that same place today.  A little over a week ago I got a call while at church camp with 30+ students from our church.  Someone had broken into the church and stolen my bass guitar along with about 5 thousand dollars worth of other musical equipment.  Bummer…

Then came Monday.

Monday was a somewhat normal day.  I was at the office and a couple college guys came by to spend some time with me.  We hung out, went to the post office, and chilled in the office until they leave and come back shortly with this notion that I before I leave South Florida, I have to shoot a lizard with an Airsoft gun.  If you know me, you know I am not a big gun person.  If I had my choice, we’d all go back to medieval times and settle our conflicts with swords…the William Wallace, lop off an arm or a head, way.  But this being one of my last times to hang with these guys, I give into the peer pressure and we are on our way around the church looking for a lizard to shoot.

We make our way to the side of the church and Uriah is holding the gun in his hand, acting like a gangster.  At that moment…which couldn’t have been worse, a man comes out of a side door of the church.  At the time, my only thought was that I had to explain to this guy that it was a toy gun and that everything was ok.  We did, in both English and Spanish.  Uriah even shot himself in the foot to prove the point.  But before you can slap your mama and call her Sally, this dude has seen our maintenance staff and told them that there are two guys on campus with a gun.  We find him to explain once again that its a toy and he listens.  I introduce myself as one of the pastors and he nods.  We walk away to my office to put the whole incident behind us.  It isn’t but a few minutes later and we hear sirens.

Uriah, who has had a few pre-Christ run-ins with the law gets that look in his eye.  He goes out to turn himself in and show them that it is just an airsoft gun.  They don’t care and in 2 minutes the campus is swarming with over 15 Hollywood police cars and two students from the youth group are sitting on the ground, one hand-cuffed.

Long story a little shorter.  I get my first ride in a cop car to the other side of the church.  They get everyone’s story and the dude who called the cops is referred to as a hero by the police because he did the right thing.  I was scolded for being an almost accessory to an almost crime and we all allowed to leave.

But what confuses the story a bit is that there were two calls to 911 that afternoon.  One by this shady hispanic dude in a sports coat and another by our senior pastor because the shady hispanic dude kicked in the gate to our nursery.  But the police never went there.  They were so focused on the airsoft gun and proving a point to me and the two students that they let the guy go, no questions asked about why he was even in our buildings let alone on our campus.

Oh boy…

And then came Wednesday morning.  I came in this morning to the office to find that last night, this same shady Hispanic dude was arrested about 2 miles down the road after breaking in to steal musical equipment.  We’re still waiting on the confirmation that he has our stuff, but using my keen intellect and skills gleaned from hours and hours of watching CSI, I can tell you that the evidence fits.  He was here setting up another theft.  He was coming out of the side door and propping it open so he could come back later to steal stuff.  He lied to us and told us he was praying because he was speaking at our Spanish service this Sunday (not true…we asked the Spanish pastor) and he began to cry when our senior pastor questioned him about why he was here and kicking down nursery gates.

More than 3 times Monday afternoon, this man pointed his finger in my face and accused me of doing something wrong.  “That’s him!  That’s the man!”  Replaying those moments in my mind, seeing two of my students in the back of police cars because he was trying to cover up a crime, accusations of wrong doing by a liar and a thief.

I believe that these are the moments that Jesus would tell me, “In your anger, do not sin.”

Quotables: Alvin Reid

“You will be more like Jesus based on the lost people you reach than the saved people you impress.”

Ouch! In his book, “Radically Unchurched: Who they are and how to reach them,” Alvin Reid of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary sets some ground work for the mission that we should be on in our lives. What a wake up call!  How many of us know the names of denominational heads, mega-church pastors, pod-cast preachers and book authors but fail to know even a fraction of as many names of those lost people that we are discipling for Jesus Christ?

We have lost touch with our spiritual reality.  As an American church we have largely become a hotel for saints instead of being the hospital for sinners that we are called to be (also pull from Reid).

Let’s look at our example.  No not Paul, not Peter, not even Jeremiah or Isaiah.  Though all these men were radical in their devotion to Jesus, our example must ultimately be the God-man Jesus Christ. What was one of his favorite nicknames?  A friend of sinners? Thought this was a derogatory insult from the teachers of the law, it is actually the mission that Jesus passed down to us. To reach them, we must love them.  To love them we must know them.  To know them we must befriend them.  O that we would be worthy of such a title as our Example!

The past 6 days have been grueling.  I have been spending a large amount of time with a couple struggling to follow Jesus and keep their marriage together. At first I was being worn down.  Nagging ideas and thoughts about doing “better” things with my time and spending my personal time on myself were taking me to the point of frustration and almost anger.  Until last night when I saw that my influence, my time, my words had actually caused a couple to turn to Jesus, to desire discipleship which in turn brought an entire family (sister, nieces, nephew) to the point of repentance and desire to become followers of Jesus.

Exhausted, I drove away from church energized, refreshed and full of gratitude that God would use me to disciple people. If you are currently in ministry… don’t grow weary in doing good. If you aren’t in ministry, you better get there… it the calling of every believer, everywhere.

I’m a pretty young guy.  And I have found myself at times, I know I’m not the only one, trying to prove myself when it comes to my ability and experience. The first words from the very same couple mentioned above who I am in contact with everyday now were, “You’re awful young aren’t you?” If you’ve ever heard that you understand what a shot on your pride it can be. In one comment they have discredited your training, ability, experience, knowledge, relationship with Jesus, and desire to follow Christ’s commands.  I just smiled and nodded with the response, “I guess so.”

Networking is good.  I did some of that at the 2008 Exponential Conference in Orlando last week. Listening to podcasts, reading books and attending conferences to learn is great.  But we had better begin to examine our time and intentions.  Are we spending more time and energy trying to impress the saved and less discipling the lost?  If we are, we’re all backwards, need to repent and change it up.

Valentine’s Day

in honor of valentine’s day, i thought i’d talk about love.  the Lord’s really been dealing with me about this.  and here is the scripture that He’s been speaking the loudest through:

25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” 28And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”

29But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

this passage is found in luke, the tenth chapter.  the pharisees were trying to trick Jesus.  instead, He flips the question around on them.  Jesus asked the lawyer how he interprets the Word, to which the lawyer basically says, “love God and love people.”  and Jesus responds, “that’s right.  do this and you’ll live.”

but the interesting part is v. 29, when the lawyer, wishing to justify himself, wants clarity on who his neighbor is. 

the lawyer was looking for an answer that would justify the way he was living.  you see, the pharisees had a law that stated you only had to “love” those of the faith, other jewish people.  you were justified to mistreat the poor, the needy, and anyone else just because they weren’t jewish.  and this was wrong.

Jesus goes on the tell the parable of the good samaritan (luke 10:30-37).  what Jesus is saying is that we have a responsibility be show love to all people, that we make people our neighbors.  other people don’t have to prove to us that they are our neighbors, worthy of our love.  we show that love to them, treating them as they were neighbors.  everyone is our neighbor, not just those who live in our neighborhood. 

and that really cut my heart.  i’ve been struggling alot with loving people.  or i look to justify the reason why i treat people the way i do.  i want to treat people the way they treat me.  nice people get treated nice, and disrespectful people get disrespect.  and that’s wrong of me.  no where is that taught in the bible.  i should be looking for opportunities to love, not sitting around waiting on people to love me so i can love them back.  to a greater degree, it’s not about love, but about me being selfish, only thinking of myself.  and that is far from what Christ wants me to be. 

paul talks about love in 1 corinthians chapter 13.  i’ve read this passage so many times.  mostly, i’ve read it because people tend to associate it with marriage.  but it’s so much more than that.  it has everything to do with everything that we do.  without love, anything we do is meaningless;  it’s a clanging cymbal.  it applies to every relationship:  work, marriage, friendships, acquaintences, teammates, enemies, competitors, and any other situation that deals with people.  this passage doesn’t apply only to those people you wish for it to apply to.

so i want to encourage you to read 1 corinthians 13.  i’ve posted it below.  and mediate on it.  mull it over.  does the love in your life look like the love described here?  does that same love apply to all people, not just a wife or friend?  i want to encourage you to love others as Christ loved us. 

as my good friend josh always says, love and serve.

1 Corinthians 13-

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

 13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.